My beef with BET and the BET Awards is this:  BET acts as if they’re providing television for a group of people whose entertainment needs aren’t being met.  However, the quality of entertainment they offer is poorly produced and selected, yet HEAVILY advertised.  BET continually settles for mediocrity while claiming that everyone else doesn’t give what they provide.  In reality, BET provides its viewers with television that no other station would ever pick up.  Additionally, if a BET show as on a mainstream station that station would quickly be labeled as discriminatory or racist due to the poor depiction of “Black Entertainment”.

I’m willing to give BET and the BET Awards more time to get their act together (they recently got a new President).  In the meantime, though, here are five things that are all but guaranteed to take place at the buffoonery that is the BET Awards.

Seriously, need I say anything?

Honorable Mentions

Prince Receives the Lifetime Achievement Award and BET cuts to a collage of Prince’s “butt cheek pants“

John Legend will give back the Humanitarian Award after being caught in a public bathroom stall with Fabolous

Technical Difficulties

At some point during the BET Awards a performers microphone won’t work, Queen Latifah (the host) will have to stall because a stage prop won’t properly shoot off fireworks, the producers will cut to commercial too quickly, the producers will come back from commercial too late (at least twice), and someone will cuss without BET censoring the cuss word.  Basically, the BET Awards will look like they never even did a sound check in preparation for the show.  They’ll still claim that they do it better than the other award shows, though.  They’re pathological liars.

Eminem Will Set “It” Off

Monday I stated that I believe Eminem has changed his ways of attacking the character of celebrities.  That doesn’t mean he won’t, though.  Em has a knack for disrupting the flow of an awards show.  I don’t know who or what Eminem will set “it” off on, but you can guarantee it will create a beef (or a great punchline on a song).  My guess is that he’ll call someone out.  Someone who will be completely caught off guard by a derogatory statement towards them.  Someone, like Justin Beieber.  I don’t know if he’ll be at the Awards show (I’d think doing a song with Ludacris gives him enough “juice” to get in, though) but he seems like a prime target for Eminem.

The Awkward Celebrity Reactionary Close Up

Remember when Kanye drunkenly stole Taylor Swift’s spotlight at MTV’s Video Music Awards?  The second biggest story was the close up of Beyonce’s face in reaction to Kanye’s antics.  Justin Beieber’s mother isn’t a celebrity, but her reaction to whatever Eminem says about her son will be on the front page of newspapers everywhere when it happens.

The Host Will Freestyle

Every year, at the BET Awards, the host stops reading the teleprompter (unadvised, or course) and takes time out to say whatever the hell they want.  Fortunately, Queen Latifah is hosting.  I doubt that she would go off the script to provide useless information.  Honestly, I’d be interested to hear what she would have to say if she did, though.  I’m really scared that Jamie Foxx (host of 2009 BET Awards) will run on stage, grab the microphone, and start ranting about why Fancy never gave him the draws on the Jamie Foxx Show.

Bare Chest-ed-ness

Janet Jackson’s boob isn’t available, but this year’s performers are: Alicia Keys, Diddy, Drake, Trey Songz, Usher, Nicki Minaj, Ludacris, T.I., Kanye West, Rick Ross, DJ Khaled, Eminem, and T-Pain.  Out of these 13 performers, at least 6 of them will end up coming out of their clothes.  Half of the rappers will be shirtless.  If not, one of their hype-men will be.  To be honest, I’m hoping to see one of Nicki Minaj’s silicone butt cheeks.

Shout outs to George R., Mike S., Matt R., Yaw O., Jason C., @XanneliesemoonX, and Aileen T. for getting the WHOSAIDIT?! correct on the past two days.  Also, MAJOR shout out to Tim Howard and U.S.A Soccer Team.  Shout out to Jersey, and shout out to Brunswick ’cause ALL WE DO IS BREED WINNERS! ‘Nuff said.

Em has been on a long winding road to get to his spot in Hip Hop.  He’s taken disses from every direction, he’s endured epic battles involving Ja Rule and Benzino, his personal battles have included divorces (2 with the same woman), drug addiction, suffering from Munchausen Syndrome, and the death of his childhood friend and source of inspiration. Recovery is the lyrical culmination of all that has molded and effected Eminem.

After listening to a leaked copy of the album I’m convinced that Eminem has come to grips with whatever has bothered him in the past, and he’s ready to convince the world that he’s back with a vengeance (and without an addiction).  He crushes Lil’ Wayne again, he has appearances from Rhianna and Pink for the ladies, and he apologizes for the sub par effort of his last album, Relapse, profusely. Today, MR. NSS is giving you five reasons why this album will be Eminem’s best album, yet. At the end of the day, Recovery gets the NSS stamp of approval.  Two “wet noodles” up!

Honorable Mentions

He Has A Hungry Fan-base – The people who love Eminem will never stray from his side, they’re waiting for him.

Hayley – His daughter.  He probably wants to make sure he clears up the “I killed your Mother” thing before she starts to think her dad is trying to kill her too.

I think this was his Alcoholics Anonymous name badge.

5.  He’s Using the “Shamwow” Guy In A Marketing Promo

The idea to use the Shamwow guy (Vince) is typical Eminem parity and humor.  It’s also Eminems (and his management team) most creative marketing campaign.  This may be MR. NSS reading in between the lines a little too much, but I think there’s a boldness in the way their promoting this album.  An artist is going to reach A LOT of fans by going viral these days.  With that said, the product that is advertised using this technique has to be worth the buzz it’s going to create.  Em may have nailed it with this promo though.  Check out the video, it’s hilarious:

4.  He’s Head Hunting

MR. NSS is sure that there isn’t a day going by Eminem where he’s not thinking “How am I not mentioned along the best to ever bless a microphone?”  No matter who Eminem rips, and no matter how hard he rips them, he is continually underrated.  Part of that underrating is Em being a minority in the world of Hip Hop, and therefore is looked upon in a negative way.  Part of the underrated sentiment is his lack of great albums.  Still, whenever Em is put on a track with whoever the public views as “hot”, he kills them.  Nas is the only “great” MC that Em hasn’t killed, and that’s because Nas won’t hop on a track with him (especially after calling out Jay-Z for getting murdered by Em).  Trust MR. NSS on this one, he’s ready to take all challengers on at this point in his career.

3.  He’s Had A Phenomenal Mix-tape Season Leading Up To This Album

Note to all rappers who aren’t talented enough to get on a track with Eminem:  Don’t lend him your effing beat, either!  There aren’t any stats to back up this theory, but I feel like Eminem killed any momentum Lloyd Banks‘ single, Beamer, Benz, Bentley, had going for it when he dropped his mix-tape song Despicable, using the same beat.  When someone else does better on your beat than you do, then releases it so everyone who heard your song can compare it to the mix-tape version of it, it’s not a good look.  In my book, Em is definitely this years mix-tape artist of the year.  Every verse he spit on a mix-tape was more ferocious than the last.

2.  Dr. Dre, Duh

Dre won’t let him down as far as beats go, and we know what Em does to dope beats.  In addition to Dre, Em has solicited Just Blaze and Havoc from Mobb Deep.  That sounds like a winning combo to me.  You have grit of a Mobb Deep album, the finesse of a Kanye or Jigga album, and the head knocking that comes from listening to a Dre beat.  With a team like Dre, Just Blaze, and Havoc, even MR. NSS could go gold.

1.  He’s “Recovered”

He’s done killing his mom, he’s done killing Kim (ex-wife), and he’s done killing himself (hence the album title Recovery).  He’s outgrown his sociopathic antics of past albums.  So much that he’s even stopped dying his hair.  He’s accepted that he had to stop grinding up painkillers and sprinkling them on his Corn Flakes in the morning. Most importantly, it looks like the character that first gained him exposure, Slim Shady, is dead.  With the antics and characters out-of-the-way, Recovery is set up to be not just Eminem’s best album, but Hip Hop’s album of the year.

Get it? The ROAD to recovery...You can thank me later.

Shout outs to Matt R. for getting Saturday’s second WHOSAIDIT?! Still no winner for the, ever so coveted, “Three Pointer” WHOSAIDIT?!  Look for it sometime today, though.  Shout outs to the entire NSS Nation! I’ve realized that since switching to the three days a week format I’ve failed to mention WHOSAIDIT?! winners who won on the “off days” on the following days blog entry.  I’ll do better with that, I still make sure you get your points, though.  So, shout out to ALL the winners on the NSS fan page, I’ll definitely keep them coming for y’all.  Tune in Wednesday for a preview of what’s to come on this weekend’s BET Awards.

Rappers Are Not Thugs

As much as I hate to admit it, Cam’ron was pretty accurate when he said “These rappers are all Theodore Huxtable, their Mother’s a Lawyer, their Father’s a Doctor”.  Rappers have portrayed a thug-like, or “goon” persona for marketability reasons for years.  They figured out that by seemingly living out the actions that they rap about, their fans will buy into their “thug-lore”.  A thug is someone who beats people up, a super-bully if you will.  A thug is someone who repeatedly commits violent acts and terrorizes communities.  A&R’s and record companies are not going to give a multi-million dollar recording contract to someone whose life path will most likely lead to prison or death.  They will, however, take a thug-like prospect and tell him to spit that thug sh*t.  Rappers get arrested for two things: drug possession/use and gun possession/use.  They use drugs because the entertainment industry is flooded with uppers, downers, and everything in between.  They carry guns because they’re trying to keep up that thug image, and because they’re paranoid from all the uppers they’ve taken.  The rappers that have used them (once they’ve become rappers) aren’t really rapping anymore (ask Cassidy how much his street-cred has helped him sell records after shooting someone down).

Male Country Singers Are Not Cowboys

Cowboys are one of the most romanticized groups in American history.  They didn’t win the West, nor did they fight heated battles with Native Americans.  Instead, they rode horses to make sure they kept pace with the cows they were herding.  Being that cowboys were mostly young single men, they’d take their herd earnings to the nearest bar and gambling spot.  They raised hell like any drunk 20-something male would do.  They chased women, they got in fights, and they shot guns in the air.  So, I hope you weren’t fooled when Kid Rock said “I’m a Cowboy, baby”. He was lying.   He’s anything but that.  He looks like a washed up hockey player with a pain-killer addiction.  Also, why does Toby Keith claim to be an “Urban Cowboy”?  I guess that means he puts on his bandanas and calls Will Smith and Wyclef after a day of cattle wrangling?

Yea, there's a bandana under the urban cowboy's hat, too...I wonder if Birdman gave him the red bandana.

Emo Bands Do Not Want To Commit Suicide

If you could make money by making music that is worshiped by self-diagnosed depression sufferers, would you?  I would (I’m pretty sure that’s how the Blues started).  And, if you could make a significant amount of money doing so, would you off yourself and leave that money to someone else? I wouldn’t.  What most people don’t know is that Emo music is used as subliminal advertising for coffee and cigarette companies.  Actually that’s not true at all, but the Emo crowd is in coffee houses, puffing Marlboro Lights, so often that they own 12% of the Starbucks in the United States.  I may have made that last fact up, but the point remains that Emo kids have tons of friends, so they’re suicide watch rotation is heavy.

Grunge/Punk rock/Metal Mosh-Pitters Do Not Like Getting ‘Bowed In The Face

They might take their lumps as just part of the concert experience, but they regret it when they wake up with missing teeth the next morning.  Maybe I’m wrong, but getting elbowed in the face looks like it hurts like hell.  Despite loading up on LSD, shrooms, and Natty Light you’re gonna know when someone smacks a bone-filled limb (as opposed to a meat filled limb) into your cheekbones.  Okay, maybe they do enjoy having their face smashed a lil’ twang. Even the girls “mosh”.  However, they HAVE to regret having degenerative disc disease before they’re 26.

Pop Artists Are Happy And “Normal”

“Going Britney” is a common phrase to describe craziness these days.  Christina Aguilera has been a “slut” since day one.  Beyonce can’t go anywhere without someone trying to take a picture of her lace-front weave, or someone trying to find out what her butt really looks like.  John Mayer can’t go anywhere without being labeled a racist (oh wait, he is).  The bottom line is that Michael Jackson drank “Jesus juice”, Janet Jackson goes on KFC binges and flashes entire nations, and Latoya Jackson had a psychic hot-line.  Really, all I’m saying is, J-Lo’s most famous talent is letting people watch her walk away from them,  Justin Timberlake is a bee-otch, Mariah Carey purchased a “Cannon”, Little Richard and Elton John are…eccentric, Jessica Simpson is the new Jennifer Aniston (in terms of relationships), Usher married his mother, Chris Brown hits women, and Lady Gaga has a “pee-pee” as well as a “woo-woo”.  Yea, they have money, but they also have those labels.  I can think of a few people who find it hard to live “normally” while being labeled.

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My original Freestyle Friday post was about Brother Ali.  I did that because I wanted to use Freestyle Friday as a way to give NSS readers a chance to listen to something they haven’t heard before.  Of course, I think it’s good music.  While someone may disagree with what I call good music, at least I introduced someone to something new.  This is a love it or hate it blog, BUT, at least I made it a blog (that’s a Kanye reference for my lyrically challenged NSS Nation members).

I’m done feeling myself (pause).  I said all of that to let The Nation know that I’m getting back on the music suggestion grind.  At some point this weekend, you should allow yourself to enjoy one of these songs:

Atmosphere - For REAL Hip Hop fans ONLY.  Seriously, if you don’t appreciate true Hip Hop, then don’t even waste your time with them.  Peep the song The Woman With The Tattooed Hands.

The Cool Kids – Fun, fly, funky, fresh, and can flow.  All of their songs are extremely easy to like, but I’d suggest I’m Mikey (I Rock It).

K’naan – Good lyricists.  He’s the Talib Kweli of Somalia.  He lives in NY now, though.  Check out his song Fatima. In this song, K’naan raps about his childhood crush, how they made plans to run-away to America, and how his crush didn’t show up to school one day for nearly unspeakable reasons.

Chiddy Bang – Newer cats. Another fun listen.  They’re based out of Drexel University in Philly.  They’re kind of an Alternative Hip-Hop Band, if that makes any sense. Check out Opposite Of Adults.

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Shout outs to Jason C. (Murrrr), Shells P. (Fetti!), and Erica S. (hater). for getting yesterday’s WHOSAIDIT?! Make sure you go back and vote on the Drake album, I want to hear what the Nation thinks about the album after I bashed him in the head about Thank Me Later.

As an adolescent I frequented the YMCA, particularly the after school program.  One day an older after school participant (about 3 years older than me) thought it would be funny to throw an orange at me.  As it hit me in the back I turned around only to see him cowardly running into the program director’s office to use it as a safe haven (the program director would have done anything for this kid, so he knew it was his story against mine).  I called his bluff, though, and followed him into the director’s office, where he proceeded to grin at his “cleverness”.  I, being the savvy 12-year-old that I was, set a trap and voiced “If you ever do that again, I’ll fight you.”  The director looked shocked, because she knew I’d never do such a thing (I was an angel), so it was obvious this kid did something to truly upset me.  Then I told the kid “I bet you won’t do it again”, knowing he’d do it again.  He was clearly unaware that I was playing the same game he was (using the program director), because a couple of days later he threw another piece of fruit at me and ran to the program director’s office.  I calmly walked into the director’s office, told her “I told him”, and proceeded to pound this kids face until the director’s couch had blood on it.

You see, revenge is all about setting a tone. I couldn’t be a target for fruit on a daily basis.  That day at the YMCA, that high schooler got his ass kicked by a 12-year-old, a bloody nose, and a suspension from the program because he made the director look like a fool.  Revenge is a dish best served with No Soy Sauce.

Today, you’ll get MR. NSS’ 10 favorite hip hop “revenge songs”.  All of the following songs qualify because they involved a well-thought out plan backed up with the execution of the plan.  Whether the plan was to result in death, embarrassment, or to solely hurt someone’s feelings, these songs got it done.  I wish one of these songs was playing while I was beating that kid’s a** at the YMCA.

(Editor’s Note:  Only songs with videos are hyperlinked except for Queen’s “Death On Two Legs” because everyone should be educated on that group to some degree.)

Honorable Mentions

Beyonce, Irreplaceable - I’m convinced Jigga wrote this song.  At least the hook.

Alanis Morissette, You Oughta Know – Seriously, you oughta know.  Great revenge song.

Queen, Death On Two Legs – Yes, Mr. NSS is a Queen fan.  I suggest you become one too, starting with this song.

Vanessa Williams, Betcha Never – There’s something about a good-looking woman singing a revenge song.  I actually feel bad for whoever inspired this song (It was written by Babyface) because Vanessa got at them. 

10.  Ice Cube – No Vaseline

Ouch! This is for the Pulp Fiction red rubber ball, got a gimp in the closet, type of revenge.  Cube was the only member of N.W.A. that left by himself.  That probably took a lot more balls than it sounds like.

9. DMX - X Is Coming

The amount of hate someone would need in their bloodstream to perform the acts mentioned by Dark Man X is equal to Stewie Griffin’s hate towards his mother.  This revenge song is for the person that played Grand Theft Auto just to kill people, only to see how many cops they could kill once all Police “wanted” stars were completely lit up.  I’m not going to go over the lyrics in this song, it kind of scares me to type them and read them aloud.  I’ll put it like this, I remember buying this CD from Blockbuster video after school.  When I got home I called my homeboy Dewayne, told him to come listen and spaz out with me.  I was so excited.  Then this song came on.  Even as an impressionable youth, who wished Scarface never died so I could meet him, when I heard X give his thoughts on the “revengees” daughter I stopped the song and asked Dewayne “did he really just say that?”  Then we discussed how psycho this man must actually be to claim some sh*t like that on his debut album.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, find out for your damn self  ’cause I’m not going to jail for someone misinterpreting a quote as my own words.  I heard they like bloggers for more than their words, in prison.

8.  Mobb Deep – Eye For An Eye

“As time goes by, an eye for an eye, we in this together son, your beef is mine…”  This song is perfect for any movie scene that involves a car full of goons loading and cocking guns on their way to kick in the door on their enemy.  I need someone to digitally remaster The Godfather and add this song to the scene where Sonny drives up to the toll and gets wet up.  The hospital scene in Carlito’s Way when Al Pacino takes the bullets out of Sean Penn’s gun too, that would be awesome.

7.  Mase ft. Black Rob, The Lox, and DMX – 24 Hours To Live

I think three out of the five New York boroughs would be destroyed if each rapper on this song carried out his plan.  Leave it to DMX to put it all in perspective, too:

“I know exactly where I’m going, but I’ma send you there first, and with that sh*t that I be doing, I’ma send you there worst…”

For whatever reason, each rapper in this song took the time to off someone in their verse.  They may be responsible for some murders that haven’t been solved yet.

6.  Eminem – Stan

Only Eminem could come up with a way to kill one of his fans in a song.  You can tell Em’ put thought into this one too, because the fan kills himself instead of Em’ doing the killing (as opposed to the many times he has killed his Mother and ex-Wife with his own hands).  This song was a good way for him to tell certain fans to check themselves, though.

5.  Justin Timberlake – Cry Me A River

I know.  I despise Timberlake, but Timbaland made this song hot.  Add that to the a fake Britney Spears in the video and  some lyrics with a “f*ck you” undertone and it’s a smash hit!

“Now there’s just no chance, for you and me, there’ll never be
And don’t it make you sad about it…
…Girl I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other guy
Your bridges were burned, and now it’s your turn
To cry, cry me a river”

This song makes me want to break into my ex-girlfriend’s house, athletically and gracefully jump all over her furniture, hide in her closet, and watch her shower.

4.  50 Cent – Many Men

NSS Nation, you know how I feel about “Mr. Half -a- Dollar”.  I can’t stand him.  However, when homeboy said “P*ssy n*ggas put money on my head, gon’ and get your refund motherf*cker I ain’t dead…” to start his first verse, I had to give him props for going that hard.  If you’re going to seek revenge on someone for shooting you that line is EXACTLY what you should say right before you shoot them back.  Then he ended it with “Now it’s clear that I’m here for a real reason, ’cause he got hit, like I got hit, but he ain’t f*cking breathing”.  50 got that off.

3.  James Brown – The Big Payback

James Brown can dig rapping and he can dig scrapping, but he can’t dig backstabbing.  This is a great song to smash sh*t too.  This is exactly what you want playing when you set your bosses office on fire after he or she denied your request for a raise.  Any song that involves screaming lyrics like, “PAYBACK!”, “REVENGE!”, “I’M MAAADDD!” in sequence was made to do no less than a quarter of a million dollars worth of damage to someone’s personal property.  Also, the song is over seven minutes long.  Perfect for a scenario when you want to leave the scene but let the “revengee” know what happened.  Picture your boss walking into his or her office to find their family pictures smashed, they’re bonsai tree set on fire and James Brown screaming at them  “I DON’T KNOW KARATE, BUT I KNOW CAARAAZZYYYY!!”

2.  Nas – I Gave You Power

MR. NSS loves this song.  Besides repping for the inanimate objects of the world, Nas paints a perfect picture of the life-cycle of a gun in the ‘hood.  I don’t feel that my explanation and analysis of this song will do its meaning any justice, so here are the lyrics.  If you’ve never heard this song, buy it, download it from iTunes, steal it, do whatever you have to do to listen to this song.  Here’s the first verse:

I seen some cold nights and bloody days.
They grab me and bullets spray
They use me wrong so I sing this song ’til this day
My body is cold steel for real
I was made to kill, that’s why they keep me concealed
Under car seats they sneak me in clubs
Been in the hands of mad thugs
They feed me when they load me with mad slugs
Seventeen precisely, one in my head
They call me Desert Eagle, semi-auto with lead
I’m seven inches four pounds, been through so many towns
Ohio to Little Rock to Canarsie, livin harshly
Beat up and battered, they pull me out
I watch as n*ggas scattered, makin me kill
But what I feel it never mattered
When I’m empty I’m quiet, findin myself fiendin to be fired
A broken safety, niggaz place me in shelves
under beds, so I beg for my next owner to be a thoroughbred
Keep me full up with hollow heads…

The tale of revenge in this song is told after Nas (as the gun) is fed up with his current “owner” and comes up with a scheme: “…the next time the beef is on I’ll make myself jam, right in my owner’s hands”  Like any great story-teller, this song ends with unfortunate, but realistic irony (teaser!).

1. Biggie – Somebody’s Got To Die

In my Top Ten Rap Stories post I went into enormous detail about why this song was my number one, all time favorite, rap song story.  For those same reasons, it’s an excellent number one revenge song story, as well.

Shout outs to Elcira D., David H., @THEREALNOTTY, and Alcides S. (Ay!) for getting the correct WHOSAIDIT?! yesterday.  “Nuff said.

For further explanation, I gave you five stories that have made a lot of headlines lately.   All of the stories have been head-scratchers to me, leaving me to wonder if the fall of Hip Hop is happening faster than I thought.  The stories have no direction and are almost irrelevant to music.  Below, you’ll get my initial reaction (“Weird”, “Why?”, and “Really?”) followed by an explanation of why the story is suspect.

Honorable Mentions

Kid Cuddi Gets Caught With Liquid Coke – I thought he was just talking about weed in “Day And Night”.  I have no idea what liquid cocaine is, and I don’t care.  I do want to know how popular liquid coke is because I have to think that you’re an addict if you need something in liquid form.  Sidenote:  If they made a liquid THC drink I’d give up alcohol.

5.  Cool Kids Have To Lose Their “Cool”

“Why?”… Ain’t this bout a b*tch?  The Cool Kids (Mike And Chuck) are being sued for plagiarizing their rap groups name.  The source of who is suing them has yet to be revealed by the group, but they’re not sweating it.  They’ve released a Mixtape under the group name “Chuck and Mike” already, which is probably a more fitting group name, anyway.  More importantly, though, what type of jerk sues someone over a name like Cool Kids?  That’s a oft-used phrase.  That’s like Paris Hilton copyrighting the phrase “That’s Hot”.  What if someone asks me “Is that iron cold?”  Am I supposed to respond “That’s luke warm”?  From now, on, I’m going to title all of my blog entries “Cool Kids”.  Let them come after me.

4.  Rick Ross Is Threatening Rick Ross

“Really?”… This story may not end well.  “Freeway” Ricky Ross ran a drug empire that expanded from Los Angeles to the Carolinas.  After buying cocaine from an undercover CIA agent in 1996 Ricky Ross, the dealer, was sentenced to life in prison.  With Ricky Ross locked up one can assume that Rick Ross, the rapper, felt safe enough to profit from using Ricky Ross’ name in the music industry.  Well, the original Ricky Ross is out of prison and he wants full rights to his name, as well as a bag full of money.  He believes that he should be compensated by the rapper for successfully earning an income while using his name.  Rick Ross, the rapper, claims to have never heard of Freeway Ricky Ross.  Sounds like a good ol’ Mexican stand-off to me! If all of my years of watching gangster/drug dealer movies has been as informative as I’d like to think they’ve been then only two things can come of this:  Rick Ross the rapper will pay up, or Rick Ross the ex-con will kill Rick Ross the rapper, mad times.  I’m excited to see how this plays out.  Personally, I’d be ok with either outcome.

3.  Lil’ Kim Says Nicki Minaj Is Disrespecting Her

“Why?”… My first thought to hearing this story was, “Lil’ Kim is disrespecting women by trying to pass as one”.  Honestly, I’m convinced that the real Lil’ Kim died of a broken heart after Biggie’s death.   The Lil’ Kim we’ve seen, post-Biggie, is really Emmanuel Lewis.  Diddy hired him to keep the Bad Boy mystique alive.  I think Kim is just super “jeals” of Nicki.  After all, Nicki is younger, has WAY more a**, and doesn’t look like Jigsaw from Saw.

"Plus your sister look better than you, give head better than you, p*ssy get wetter than you..."

"You think it is over, but the games have just begun"

2.  Drake Has Feelings

“Weird”, “Really?”, AND “Why?”… NSS Nation, please understand that I spit the truth every time my fingers hit the keyboard.  I said it before, Drake’s light-skinned a** is SOFT!  First he’s professing his love for…wait for it…NICKI MINAJ?! On his song Miss Me (featuring Lil’  Wayne, who I’m sure has crept into Nicki’s bed on the tour bus a bunch of times after a night of codeine and root beer floats) Drake says:

“I love Nicki Minaj
I told her I’d admit it
I hope one day we get married just to say we f*cking did it
and girl I’m f*cking serious I’m with it if you with it
cause your verses turn me on and your pants are mighty fitted…”

Now he’s talking about how Rhianna hurt his feelings by using him as a “pawn” when they dated.  The only reason I can think of why Drake would continue publicly displaying b*tcha**ness  is because he’s trying to play the “sensitive angle” with female fans.  I’m beginning to think that Drake’s lone motivation for becoming a rap artist is to get women.  Hopefully, this isn’t the case because he’s off to a rough start.  He’s in love with a bi-sexual Barbie wanna-be and had feelings for a girl who had cell phone pictures of her naked body “leaked”.

1.  Diddy Tells Rick Ross, “If You Ain’t Better Than B.I.G. Then You’re The Closest one”

“Really?”, “Effing Diddy…”… I think Diddy just needs some attention because he has proclaimed that Rick Ross is the “Biggie of the South”.  Only Diddy would say some sh*t like that.  Normally, I would list Biggie and Rick Ross’ credentials side by side in a situation like this.  However, Biggie’s so many levels ahead of Ross that it would actually be disrespectful to Biggie to do such a thing.  Instead, I’ll prove my point with the following anecdotes that I’ve collected:

Rick Ross goes to sleep in Notorious B.I.G. pajamas;  When Rick Ross closes his eyes Coogi sweaters and Kangol’s haunt his thoughts;  When Biggie’s spirit wants to roam the planet in style Rick Ross chauffeurs him in his Maybach;  After Rick Ross writes a song he asks his producer if it’s “All good baby, baby?”;  Rick Ross is Biggie’s son;  When Rick Ross is in a shoot out he shoots first and directs his questions towards Biggie, later;  Rick Ross’ grandmother learned how to knit Coogi boots from Biggie.

Shout outs to Ashleigh T., Erica S., Matt R., Eric H., and Mike S. for this past Friday through Sunday’s WHOSAIDIT?!  You can definitely catch NSS on Monday’s, Wednesday’s, and Friday’s from now on, unless I note otherwise.  Also, expect blogs at noon, unless stated otherwise.  If you’re ever in doubt, check for an update on the Facebook Fan Page or the No Soy Sauce Twitter page.  Those pages are where changes to entry times will be posted.  Sorry for the late edition today, your boy was getting CPR and First Aid certified.  Ask about me, I defibulate n*ggas.  I’ll admit though, I like the 5p Monday blog post, I might stick with it.  ‘Nuff said.