No Soy Sauce

(Editor’s Note:  Some of the videos are “Stan” videos)

NSS is starting this week off heavy.  We’re focusing on top 10 rap stories, excluding love songs, duets, and groups.  Just one MC and their mic.  The top ten list is rare on NSS, so to keep you all from reading too much, I’m just going to jump right into this one like a four-year-old into a ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese.  You’ll notice, however, that it’s mostly the great ones on this list.  In my opinion, the great ones tell a story that paints a clear picture of the story and makes the listener relate. You try telling a platinum status worthy story in rhyme…

Honorable Mentions:

Blackstar, Children’s Story – A good remake of Slick Rick’s Children’s Story.  There was a good mix of originality from Mos Def, while staying true to the original song.

Snoop Dogg, Lodi Dodi – Another Slick Rick classic, redone with a West Coast gangster’s point of view.  Snoop Dogg properly gave props to Rick the Ruler and addressed East vs. West Coast tension when he proclaimed “Gotta say “what’s up” to my n*gga Slick Rick.  For those who don’t like it, eat a d*ck. But for those who with me, sing that sh*t, ’cause it goes a lil’ something like this”.

LL Cool J, Going Back To Cali – I wanted this on the list, but I couldn’t make room, you’ll see why.  Great song, though.  How could you not love the line, “Her bikini, small.  Heels, tall. She said, she likes, the ocean”?

10. Jadakiss – Still Feel Me

This song is about two minutes of brute honesty.  It’s only natural that Kiss gives you a dope flow over a dope beat.  His raspy voice only makes his statement of “Sh*t is still real, B. That’s why I want you to still feel me” that much realer.  It’s also lines like these that make you love ‘Kiss:

“Ain’t afraid to give my life to the public
And when you see me next time maybe we can further discuss
How my sixteens give you a visual
I know you thinking “He ain’t really selling, how he live off residuals?”
But right now, the game is pitiful
And n*ggas is lonely, they ned company cuz they miserable”

9.  Mos Def – Ms. Fat Booty

Mos Def slowly goes from exhibiting “just one of the guys”  type behavior on this track to exhibiting straight “b*tcha**ness”.  He starts off “In she came with the same type game, the type of girl giving out the fake cellphone and name”.  This is guy talk for “f*ck her, she ain’t sh*t,” which is the ultimate “saving face” comment a guy can make, because once you say it, you’re expected to keep your word.  You shouldn’t be seen sharing a flat wooden spoonful of Cold Stone with the girl who “ain’t sh*t” four days later.   And this is where the problem lies, because Mos Def, almost in the very next line says, “She spot me like paparazzi.  Shot me a glance in that catwoman stance, in them fat booty pants, hot damn!….what’s your name love?” Mos flipped his stance on his feelings for this woman faster than Sarah Palin went from Governor to “not preparing to run for election“.  Even though the song goes further into how p*ssywhipped he becomes, I’m not mad at Mos for this one, because the song is honest and dope.  Even though the song isn’t heard often (outside of NY), it has grown a hybrid cult following of underground and mainstream Hip Hop fans.

8.  Eve – Love is Blind

This is one of those songs that can be remembered for one line.  For instance, Hammer will always be synonymous to “Can’t touch this”. The Ghosbusters’ theme song will forever be linked to “Who are you gonna call?”  Eve’s Love Is Blind can be summed up with “I don’t even know you and I hate you”.  A powerful line for a song that probably didn’t get as much exposure as it should have due to the male dominated industry.  Trust, though, there are plenty of women (and men) who feel this song deeply because everyone knows someone who’s been the friend of a friend that’s suffering from domestic abuse.  Eve put it on the forefront with this hit. Too bad good songs can’t get heavy rotation on the radio forever.

7.  Slick Rick – Children’s Story

Not only was the narrating on this story on point, but the beat from this song has been reused and remade multiple times.  This song was made in the era when Hip Hop was about reporting what goes down in the inner city.  When Ricky released this single in ’88, most of the Hip Hop songs that explained the everyday struggles was from a political standpoint, and  Public Enemy’s Fight The Power wasn’t released until ’90.  No matter the era of Hip Hop, a rapper’s lyrics must display his or hers successes, failures and struggles in a way that relates to the “regular” audience.  Slick Rick is considered one of the greats because of his creativeness and innovation.  That has allowed him to paint pictures for his audience in a way that made them feel involved in his songs, as if Rick was telling each fan’s life-story.

6.  Kanye West - Big Brother

Other than Lauryn Hill, I don’t think anyone could have nailed a song with this much honesty, raw emotion,  vulnerability, and still make it a hit song about rising above adversity.  I can’t imagine the day Kanye let Jay-Z hear this song.  I’d have to imagine it would be a situation similar to having a middle school crush on a guy/girl and giving them the” love” letter you’ve hidden in your locker for three weeks.  All you want is to see the expression of appreciation on their face and for them to say “yes”.

5. Jay-Z – Meet the Parents

A few reasons why this is an all time great song: First, Jigga laid this song down in one take, that’s why there’s no chorus.  At the beginning of the song, you can hear the moment when he comes in on the beat too early and starts over.  This song is almost five minutes of Jay “one taking” a classic.  Second, he layered the song like he was writing a script for a Quentin Tarantino movie.  The song is a moving time-line that jumps from one decade to another. Jay moves from the story of the parents, to the story of the teenager, which all culminates with the a tragic meeting of the father and son. In my opinion the song would be considered a classic if The Blueprint 2: The Gift And The Curse was received better.  Third, in one line, Jay gives us the moral of the story perfectly when he says, “N*ggas be a father, you’re killing your sons”.  ‘Nuff said on that one.

4. Biggie – N*ggas Bleed

“They shady? We get shady.  Dress up like ladies and burn ‘em with dirty .380′s”  If Jay was influenced by Tarantino, then Biggie’s N*ggas Bleed was influenced by M. Night Shamylan.  A methodical story with great attention to detail and character development:

“Since it’s on, I called my n*gga Arizona Ron, from Tuscon, push a black Yukon.  Usually has the slow grooves on, mostly rocks the Isley’s.  Stupid as youngin’, chose not to move wisely…”

I don’t know if the song is a true story, but he made me believe that he was there.  Plus he showed his knack for wit and humor when he states at the end of the song, “The funny thing about it, through all the excitement, they’re Range got towed, they double parked by the hydrant.”  The hydrant plays a significant role in this story because of how Biggie sets it up.  A prior line about setting off the sprinklers inside the hotel, where the “Range” was parked, proves to be the use of foreshadowing in the story (I paid attention in 8th grade English).  This song truly lets you know how big of a talent we lost when Biggie died.

3.  Tupac – Brenda’s Got a Baby

This song is based on a true story that Tupac read in a newspaper.  The story is about a 12-year-old girl who got pregnant and made the decision to put her newborn in an incinerator after she gave birth in her own apartment.  By ’91 when Tupac released this song, Chuck D, from Public Enemy, had already proclaimed that rap music is the “CNN of Black America”.  I guess ‘Pac took what he said to heart, turning a news report that would normally be swept under the nation’s “rug”, into a story that gained broad access, easily reaching across a country.

2.  Nas – Rewind

Simply put, brilliant song.  The entire song is backwards and it still makes perfect sense.  Of course, Nas would never be able to lie on the witness stand in court because the judge would recall this song when questioning Nasir’s ability to recall memory.  The song makes you reminisce of a night out with your people, or a time when you got a crazy voice mail from your crazy cousin and had to rush to a crazy incident.  You replay the events of what happened days later once you’ve been able to gather your thoughts and realize you need some type of life change.

1.  Biggie – Somebody’s Got To Die

Just like Biggie’s name can’t be left out of the running  for greatest rapper of time, this song must be considered for greatest rap “revenge” song (blog idea!).  Again, Biggie’s attention to detail is present almost immediately.  The song starts off with “I’m sitting in the crib dreaming about leer jets and coupes, the way Salt shoops, and how to sell records like Snoop.  I’m interrupted by a door-bell…I gets up quick, cocks my sh*t, stop the dogs from barking, then proceed to walking…”  The most impressive part of this song, again, is the foreshadowing. However, instead of it leading to a humorous ending, it ends ambiguously.  I love this song so much I’m gonna break it down for y’all:

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The foreshadow:

(This is about getting revenge on the person who killed Biggie’s friend.  Biggie’s talking to another friend as they’re riding to a spot where they think the original assailant is)

“…See n*ggas like you do ten-year bids,
Miss the nigga they want,
And murder innocent kids.
Not I, one nigga’s in my eye
That’s Jason.
Ain’t no slugs gonna be wasted.
Revenge I’m tastin at the tip of my lips,
I can’t wait to feel my clip in his hips.
Pass the chocolate, Thai…”

The foreshadow unfolding and coming true:

(Now Biggie has found the guy he’s looking for because his boy, “Sing”, said they should be in a certain spot.  Biggie  is ready to set it off)

“…Sing ain’t lie,
There’s Jason with his back to me,
Talkin to his faculty.
I start to get a funny feelin,
Put the mask on in case his n*ggas start squealin.
Scream his name out,
Squeeze six,left him shorter
N*gga turned around holdin his daughter.”

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OK, let me get my professor on and then I’m done.  This song is all about being so caught up in revenge that the lives of those we care about, no matter which side of the beef you’re on, are never considered (unless they’re targeted of course).  In this case, Biggie sets up the story’s finale by telling his friend that if they aren’t careful, they’ll shoot an innocent bystander (i.e. a kid) and end up going to jail for murdering someone they didn’t intend to.  He then goes on to describe how crowded his mind is because it’s filled with thoughts of revenge and clouded by weed smoke; “revenge I’m tasting at the tip of my lips, can’t wait to feel my clip in his hips.  Pass the chocolate Thai…”  Then Biggie shoots at his target without realizing the target has a baby girl in his hands.  In the end, we don’t know if Biggie killed Jason (his target), the girl in the targets hands, or neither one of them.  As the beat stops on this song you hear Biggie voice concern, saying “Yo, I think I hit the baby, kid.”  End scene.

Shout out to Eric H. and Chris Z. for getting Saturday and Sunday’s WHOSAIDIT?!  Find the WHOSAIDIT?! daily on the Facebook fan page. Check out the leader board in the “Discussions” section.  Also, if you became a fan of the NSS page, you’re name was automatically selected in a cold call rotation for No Soy Sauce bumper stickers, please do not hang up the phone when the automated operator pronounces your name incorrectly (just kidding, don’t de-friend the NSS page now.  I do want to make NSS bumper stickers though).