No Soy Sauce

No matter where you go in life, you always encounter them:  The friendly and eager co-worker who you’re counting on for a big project, but she only gives just enough effort to get the job done.  The super cheerful choir member that rocks the wrong way and claps off beat.That doctor that diagnoses the lung cancer but overlooks the testicle cancer.   You would think that everyone wants to do their job to the best of their ability, but lets face it, there are people who just show up for the paycheck.

The term sandbagging is typically used in the world of sports.  Dictionary.com defines sandbagging as “To deceive someone, to fool someone about ones capabilities”.  With that said, NSS is presenting the “Sandbagging” category for laziest guest appearance on a track. Essentially, these fools are rapping for a paycheck (or some trim).  The nominees of this category, though they may not be capable of greatness, clearly did not give full effort on the track, leaving the main artist out to dry with a wack verse that cost thousands of dollars to make.

“Sandbagging” Nominees:

Soulja Boy, On Teairra Marie’s Sponsor - WOW! Really Soulja Boy? “I’m so fly, fly as I can be.  I can take you to go shopping, then we can go out to eat”.  Ninja, that ain’t fly!  There are 7th graders that can do that sh*t.  Come harder (pause).  This dude has mailed it in.  He’s like the high school seniors who receive notification of their full scholarship to college in November, so from December through June, they show up late to every class and get drunk at lunch.  These are the same fools that go into class and write “I can’t, it’s too curvy” in response to the “find the slope” question on the math test.

"I'll take you to Red Lobster guurrrl."

Mystikal, On Lloyd’s Set Me Free – Mystikal is out of jail, six years after he was found guilty on a  sexual battery charge.  ”Y’all was eating shrimp, I was on that work out bench”.  How sad is that line? Arguably, Mystikal is the guy that we expect to go hardest on any given track. He had a presence that commands your attention, even if you weren’t sure what he was saying.  Mystikal made any song he featured on an automatic club banger because of his energy.  He was like the Southern Busta Rhymes.  Now, he’s an ex-con and you can hear the pain in his voice from dropping the soap one too many times.  His energy and excitement has turned into festering hate and anger as he opens the track with, “B*tch stop lying on me!” (This is in reference to his sexual battery charge.  Too bad he video taped the sexual battery part, maybe someone would believe him if he hadn’t).  Where Tupac got out of jail and became more potent, and perhaps a better thinker, Mystikal got out and, well, went home.

"Jail hurts! Now, I hurt."

Lil Wayne, 96% of the tracks he features on – What do you expect from a guy who gets murdered on his own songs? Scotty done beamed this boy up one too many times, and he’s ruining other artist’s songs at a rapid rate.  It’s gotten to the point where he’s predictable; he’s going to talk about taking a sh*t, or being the sh*t, or having bathrooms to sh*t in, or wiping sh*t on seats and microphones.  Or, he’ll talk about how money is on his mind and b*tches are not, unless they can get him some money, of course.  Once we are reminded that Weezy is the sh*t and that he likes money, he’ll tell us about his jewelery, guns, and what drug he’s currently abusing. There you have it, the blueprint for a Lil Wayne feature verse on a track.  Weezy isn’t only falling off, he’s becoming a damn bum.  NSS thinks that Weezy peaked on the Carter II,  and it’s been down hill ever since.  They’re saying that Weezy’s job in prison is “Suicide Watch Monitor.” If his feature verses are any indication, I hope he’s keeping a close eye on his career.

"I lost my raps. Have you seen them?"

The “Sandbagging” Wet Noodle Award goes to: Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em (NSS really wanted to give this to Weezy, but “I can take you to go shopping the we can go out to eat” just killed us.  That’s a f*cking Seasame Street rhyme)

NSS has to retract the statement about not having a “WHO SAID IT?!” winner from Monday.  Ms. Aileen T., shout out to you and yours for guessing correctly with Raekwon on Monday.  Tuesday we had two people simultaneously respond to the Who Said It?! with correct answers.  Arshelle M. (A.K.A. The Brunswick Bully) and Lauren L. (A.K.A. Ain’t Got No A.K.A.) both guessed LL Cool J correctly.  ’Nuff said.