No Soy Sauce

(Editors Note: As you may guess, official music videos don’t exist for all of these songs.  So, when you click on a link to one of the songs listed, you will get the song, but it may be in one of those weak homemade YouTube videos produced by a guy named Stan. You know Stan: the grown a** man at home in his mom’s basement who’s mad that he was “stood up” by Jay-Z last weekend after Jigga didn’t accept his invitation to his “Official Roc-a-Wear after-party” at the local Holiday Inn Express banquet ballroom.  So, to soothe his pain he makes a video dedicated to his “Best Friend Jigga”…effing Stan.)

There isn’t much need for an intro on this one. This list counts down Jigga’s best R&B song appearances when he’s paired up with a fly light-skinned honey (not that I’m against my dark-skinned honeys, but the music  industry seemingly labels them as “Neo-Soul”.  Why?  Easy. Light-skinned singers are role models and can touch the hearts of children all over the world. Dark-skinned singers, however, practice witchcraft, or so I’ve been told. Mary J. Blige is the only exception, because she’s “Mocha” and hails from Yonkers). So, lets dive right into this one.  You know the deal too, if you don’t agree, prove it.

Honorable Mentions:

Rehab Remix, Amy Winehouse ft. Jay-Z

Two things stand out to me about Hov’s verse on this song: He lets Amy know that she hasn’t accomplished anything in her career until she got Jay Z on her song as he proclaims “You’re rocking with the best now Amy baby.”  Word has it that Hov had her moving bricks until she broke Biggie’s 4th Crack Commandment. Secondly, it wasn’t a good fit.  The pairing of Amy and Hov seemed off and the flow he used for the beat was dope, but didn’t sync with the music like his flow typically does.

Crazy In Love, Beyonce ft. Jay-Z

Personally, I think he wrote/writes Beyonce’s verse/verses anyway, so technically this should be on the “Jay Z’s ghostwritten R&B top 5″

5.  Heartbreaker, Mariah Carey ft. Jay-Z

Hov’s first R&B song as a featured artist.  A stern argument could be made that this song launched Hov’s career because it was number one on the singles charts in 1999, 3 years after the release of his debut album, Reasonable Doubt.  It was a simple flow with a simple verse.  You’d have to think that he knew Mariah’s audience wasn’t going to relate to a complicated metaphor-riddled verse.  Instead he made his message loud and clear, “…She wanna answer the phone, tattoo her arm, that’s when I gotta send her back to her mom…”.  Maybe that was a message to the dark-haired Mariah.

4.  Love & Life (Intro), Mary J. Blige ft. Jay-Z

Murderous flow on this joint, very Brooklyn.  There must be something that brings the best out of Jay when he’s with Mary J. on a track:

“…I’m not only beggin I’m eggin you on
Until you dead or gone that’s the vendetta that I’m on.
This ain’t no video game with wrestlers on it,
The competitor on this is on some sh*t,
On this come through all black like a Amish,
Holsters under the armpit, the arms spit, ha!…”

3.  Minute Man Remix, Missy Elliot ft. Jay-Z

If the last flow was murderous then this one is straight serial killer homicide.  This is the first time Hov lets the public know he can spit a verse one time without mistake and record it. And not only is it market quality, but it encourages the growth of his legend when he comes in on the track announcing, “Fifty Grand I get this all in one take….Hova”.  He called out Beyonce lovers when he states “..question?…”, and gained the passionate love of Latino people as well as sports fans when he said, “I’m tryna’ hit you and quit you in the middle of the round like Roberto Duran, “No mas”".  As if he didn’t gain enough fans there, he also sticks up for pre-mature baby squirters everywhere by admitting, “I’m not trying to give you love and affection, I’m trying to give you 60 seconds of perfection…”.

2.  Upgrade You, Beyonce Ft. Jay-Z

Per my comment on the Crazy In Love song, we now all know that this song is dope because Jigga wrote the whole thing.  Jay’s verse is  basically a “How to get a Beyonce for Dummies” book.

“…I’m talking spa bags and fly pads, and rooms at, the Bloomberg , and rumors you’re on the verge of a new merge…”

I mean, Jay’s making normal dudes look bad.  I’d rather hear Jigga rapping about making Beyonce Chef Boyardee ravioli and tuna sandwiches with no mayo.  Instead, he talks subtle sh*t like:

“…My bezzle? Courtesy of Audemars.  I’ll order yours tomorrow now look at the time I saved ya , Mama let me upgrade ya.”

But I’m on to Jigga.  He’s not fooling me. This is how he got Beyonce.  Remember, this song and video came out while Jay and B were supposedly not seeing each other anymore, hence the reason for her rapping the first half of Jigga’s verse in the video.  So, we all know how ordering Beyonce’s watch came about:  Hov came home with some new shiny sh*t on his wrist and said to B, “Look what I copped. This watch be a one of one. That means none before it, none to come.” She replied “Can you pay my bills? Can you pay my Audemars bills?  I think you can so why didn’t you bring me something back too? With your non-rapping a**”  Moral of the story, don’t come home showing off hot new sh*t if you don’t have one for your Beyonce, too.

1.  Best of Me Pt. 2, Mya ft. Jay-Z

Two words:  SUMMER ANTHEM. Also, this is the only song on the list (perhaps of all his features on R&B songs) where he has two verses (Mya really needed a boost in sales).  How many of y’all had to have a Carolina blue ANYTHING after his second verse?  Don’t act like that was your favorite color before he said that sh*t.  Y’all ain’t know Cristal came in a yellow bottle ’til this verse either (maybe that was just me).  PLUS, who knew that, as Jay professed in this song, that having an affair makes you a grown up?   Keep it real.