One day I woke up. I went about my normal wake up routine: bump some Jay Z, brush teeth, shower, check mouse traps for mice, watch ESPN, turn to ESPN2, watch that, check cereal boxes to see if mice chewed through them, eat some cereal, then go to work. Engulfed in the middle of my rigorous morning regimen, I missed the memo that moving forward, every rapper would incorporate metaphors into their rhymes by using incomplete sentences, i.e. “I write blogs, typos!”. It’s the simplist way to compare one thing to another, which is why I have a slight problem with these lazy metaphors. It’s too easy, it’s becoming a gimmick that allows mediocre rap verses to be comparable to hot rap verses. I don’t mind a veteran in the game like Kanye using it; it’d be witty, relevant, and perfectly timed. Plus, he’s put in his work and has already proven that he can flow, so we know he doesn’t NEED to do it.
I’m not saying that this new metaphor phase is a bad thing, but it can make a lame rapper seem hotter than they really are. Take Young Money’s Bedrock . First of all, shout out to Millz for not using a lazy metaphor in his verse. He’s either the underachiever of the group or the left out one that causes trouble for attention, similar to the role an ugly chick plays in a hot group of girls. Speaking of girls (segue game is vicious), Nicki Minaj’s lazy metaphor was actually kind of dope: “I just keep coming off the top, asbestos” (I wasn’t really a fan of it until I saw the video and saw the face she made when she said “coming”, I was suddenly astonished by her ability to slide a double entendre in her verse).
I digressed, but these lazy metaphors create a cozy little bubble in the industry for weaker MC’s to claim a spot over a stronger MC who uses deeper or more complex lyrics in their music. I’m not saying Nicki Minaj isn’t a legit rapper (not saying she is either), but what I am saying is that lazy metaphor usage compromises the integrity of a potential rising star in the industry, i.e. Wale .
Tyga’s lazy metaphor in Bedrock was dope, but unoriginal: “she all on my skin, lotion”. I’ve met pimps that use many variations of that line. However, this brings me to my point of sub-par rappers/verses being comparable to hotter rappers/verses. I could argue that Tyga’s lazy metaphor is better than both Drake’s AND Weezy’s on Bedrock. I overheard a teenager while standing in line at the 7-Eleven the other day talking about Tyga’s verse on the song, saying “You heard Tyga on that joint? He was flowing harder than anyone on that song, yo.” Personally, I think Drake’s verse was the best on Bedrock, but Tyga’s lazy metaphor puts him in the running for dopest verse on that song. It doesn’t even deserve a ranking.
It’s also unfortunate that the teenage population drives a lot of what goes on in rap. Think about it, we all have a couple of songs we jammed to in high school, but if you heard them now you’d be ashamed of yourself…
Will you tell your children you had your first kiss to this man
Originally, I thought the lazy metaphor was a Jay Z/Kanye creation done for the first time on the track Hate on Jay’s album, The Blueprint 3. I searched a little more though and discovered the culprit is actually Mr. Drizzy Drake. On his second mixtape, Comeback Season, on the first verse of the third song, Comeback Season, he says “…chilly willy, snowflake…” Now I’m not sold on Drake just yet, I think he’s left too much room for himself to fizzle out of the game, but that’s a discussion for another day. I am, however, impressed that if he is the originator of the style, other rappers give him the respect of using his flow. That usually counts for something in terms of music success and longevity.
I have the feeling that we are only at the beginning of the lazy metaphor era. Whether there is more to come or not, there’s been a fast and furious start to it. So, today, just for y’all, I’m giving you the hottest five lazy metaphors being sang by a horny teenager near you…”I made a joke, Carrot Top”.
Michael Jackson
Honorable Mentions:
Ludacris - “I fill her up, ballons!”, My Chick Bad
Drake – “I race for your love, shake and bake, Ricky Bobby”, Bedrock
5. Lil Wayne – “I keep them running back and forth, soccer team” Bedrock
4. Nicki Minaj – “I just keep it coming off the top, asbestos” Bedrock
3. Jay Z – “I stretch work, yoga” Hate
2. Kanye West – “He didn’t even go to class, Bueller”, Forever
1. Drake – “In your city faded off the brown, Nino…Swimming in the money, come and find me, Nemo. If I was at the club you know I balled, chemo”, Forever
…”No Soy Sauce gives you hotness, sun poison”…
